Caring for an aging parent can bring up a lot of questions — and sometimes you don’t even know which questions you should be asking.
The Aging Parent Answer Center was created to give families straightforward, practical answers about keeping Mom or Dad safe at home, finding the right level of help, understanding home care costs, dealing with memory changes, and knowing what options are available.
With more than 25 years of experience helping families navigate senior care, we’ve heard just about every question imaginable.
Our goal is simple: help you understand your options so you can make the best decision for your family.
What Do You Need Help With?
Getting Started With an Aging Parent
How do I know when my aging parent needs help at home?
Often, the first signs are small: unopened mail, missed medications, spoiled food in the refrigerator, changes in personal hygiene, increased forgetfulness, difficulty getting around, or a home that isn’t being kept up like it once was.
One change doesn’t necessarily mean your parent needs a caregiver. Look for patterns and changes from what’s normal for them. Sometimes just a little help with meals, medications, personal care, or household tasks can make it possible for Mom or Dad to remain safely and independently at home.
What are the warning signs that Mom or Dad shouldn’t be living alone anymore?
Some common warning signs include frequent falls, leaving the stove on, getting confused about medications, not eating regularly, wandering or becoming disoriented, declining personal hygiene, unpaid bills, or noticeable changes in memory and judgment.
The important question isn’t simply, “Can Mom or Dad live alone?” It’s, “Can they live alone safely?” Sometimes a small amount of help each day is enough to keep someone safely at home without immediately considering assisted living or other options.
My parent refuses help. What should I do?
This is extremely common. Many older adults hear “caregiver” and think it means they’re losing their independence.
Instead of focusing on what your parent can no longer do, try presenting help as a way to make life easier and allow them to stay in their own home longer. Starting with just a little assistance can also make the transition easier. Once your parent gets comfortable with the person helping them, they may become much more accepting of additional help if it’s needed later.
Understanding Home Care
What exactly does a home caregiver help with?
A non-medical home caregiver can help with many of the everyday activities that become more difficult as we age. This may include bathing, dressing, grooming, toileting, meal preparation, medication reminders, light housekeeping, laundry, companionship, and helping someone move safely around the home.
The amount of help depends on the individual. Some people only need a little assistance to remain independent, while others may need someone with them throughout most or all of the day.
How many hours of home care does my parent really need?
There isn’t one answer that fits every family. The right amount of care depends on what your parent can safely do independently and where they need assistance.
Some people may only need a short visit in the morning to help them get up, dressed, and ready for the day. Others may need several hours of assistance, overnight care, live-in care, or around-the-clock support.
A good place to start is by identifying the times of day when your parent is most vulnerable or needs the most help. You can then build the care schedule around those needs rather than automatically assuming they need care all day.
Can I get someone to check on Mom or Dad for just an hour or two?
Yes, in some situations. An aging parent may be perfectly safe for most of the day but need a little help getting started in the morning, preparing a meal, remembering medications, or getting safely settled for the evening.
Short visits often referred to as “Rise and Shine” in the mornings or “Tuck In” visits in the evenings can be a good option when someone’s needs don’t justify paying for several hours of care at a time. Availability can depend on where your parent lives and the type of assistance needed, so we recommend discussing the situation first to determine what options may be available.
What’s the difference between hourly, live-in, and 24-hour home care?
Hourly care is scheduled for specific hours of the day or night and works well when someone needs assistance during certain times.
Live-in care provides a caregiver who stays in the home and is available throughout the day, but the caregiver must also have appropriate time for meals, breaks, and uninterrupted sleep at night.
24-hour care generally uses multiple caregivers working in shifts so someone is awake and available around the clock. This is typically appropriate when a person cannot safely be left alone or needs assistance throughout both the day and night.
The right choice depends on your parent’s needs, safety, sleeping patterns, and how much assistance they require.
Cost & Paying for Care
How much does home care cost?
The cost of home care depends on the amount of care needed, the schedule, and the level of assistance your parent requires. Hourly care generally costs more per hour when only a few hours are needed, while live-in or around-the-clock care is priced differently at a per day rate.
Rather than looking only at an hourly rate, we recommend first determining what your parent actually needs. Sometimes families assume they need far more care than is necessary, while others may underestimate the amount of help required to keep Mom or Dad safe.
Once the care needs and schedule are understood, it’s much easier to compare the actual cost of your options.
Does Medicare pay for home care?
Generally, Medicare does not pay for ongoing non-medical home care such as bathing, dressing, meal preparation, companionship, supervision, or help around the house.
Medicare may cover certain home health services when specific eligibility requirements are met, such as intermittent skilled nursing, physical therapy, or other medically necessary services ordered as part of a plan of care.
This distinction surprises many families. Medicare covering a nurse or therapist who visits the home does not necessarily mean it will pay for a caregiver to stay with Mom or Dad for several hours each day.
Does long-term care insurance pay for home caregivers?
Many long-term care insurance policies can help pay for care provided in the home, but every policy is different.
Coverage often depends on whether your parent meets the policy’s eligibility requirements, such as needing assistance with certain activities of daily living or having a qualifying cognitive impairment.
If your parent has long-term care insurance, locate the policy before care is needed and contact the insurance company to understand the benefits, waiting “Elimination” period, daily or monthly benefit amount, and requirements for receiving home care.
Is home care less expensive than assisted living?
It depends on how much care your parent needs. For someone who only needs a few hours of assistance, remaining at home with a caregiver may be very cost-effective. As the amount of care increases, home care can eventually cost more than assisted living.
But cost isn’t the only difference. Home care is one-on-one care. The caregiver is there specifically for your parent. In assisted living, one caregiver may be responsible for 10, 15, or more residents. If that caregiver is helping someone else when your parent needs assistance, your parent may have to wait.
That’s why it’s important to compare more than monthly prices. Consider your parent’s safety, mobility, memory, how quickly they may need assistance, and the amount of individual attention they require.
For some families, assisted living is the right choice. For others, the one-on-one attention and ability to remain in familiar surroundings makes home care the better option.
Dementia & Memory Loss
What are the early signs of dementia I should watch for in my parent?
Occasional forgetfulness can be a normal part of aging. What deserves more attention is a noticeable change from what’s normal for your parent.
Warning signs may include repeatedly asking the same questions, forgetting recent conversations, getting confused about medications, missing appointments, difficulty managing bills, getting lost in familiar places, or changes in judgment and personality.
Memory changes can also have causes other than dementia, including medications, infections, dehydration, or other medical conditions. If you’re noticing a new or significant change, especially if it happens suddenly, talk with your parent’s healthcare provider.
Can someone with dementia continue living at home?
Yes. Many people with dementia can continue living safely at home, particularly during the earlier stages. The important question is whether the home environment and level of support continue to match the person’s needs.
As dementia progresses, your parent may need help with meals, medications, bathing, dressing, household tasks, and staying safe. They may also need increasing supervision if they begin wandering, leaving appliances on, becoming confused, or making unsafe decisions.
The goal is to regularly reassess what’s working. Sometimes adding a little help at the right time can allow a parent to remain safely in familiar surroundings much longer.
When is it no longer safe for a parent with dementia to be left alone?
There isn’t one specific point that applies to everyone. Instead, look at what your parent is actually able to do safely when no one else is there.
Warning signs can include wandering, falls, leaving the stove on, forgetting medications, becoming confused about where they are, opening the door to strangers, leaving the house unexpectedly, or being unable to respond appropriately in an emergency.
One of the most important things to remember is that a person with dementia may not recognize their own limitations. If you’re increasingly worried about what could happen when Mom or Dad is alone, it may be time to increase supervision or assistance.
How do I get my parent with dementia to accept a caregiver?
Introducing a caregiver can be difficult because your parent may not believe they need help. Arguing with them or repeatedly pointing out what they can no longer do often creates more resistance.
Instead, introduce the caregiver in a less threatening way — perhaps as someone helping around the house, preparing meals, or simply spending some time with them. Starting slowly can also help your parent become familiar and comfortable with the caregiver.
Consistency is especially important for someone with memory loss. When possible, having the same caregiver return regularly can help build familiarity, trust, and a routine. Over time, the person who was initially viewed as a stranger may become someone your parent recognizes and enjoys having around.
